(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

Talking with the most beloved last night (while listening to some dreadfully retro techno) kind of underscored some of my issues on the whole power thing (it's my obssession du moment). She pointed out that lots of people grant/give it to me, and my unplanned response was, "Well, sure, I guess I'm worthy of that power insofar as I don't excercise it". I'm not sure what I meant with 'excercise', but I thought it was interesting that I feel like a safe repository, but not a safe agent. I wonder why/when I came into the notion that power is BAD, or at best meddlesome and tricky.

Maybe it's just that I don't think I know any other way to use it other than bluntly, coercively. I know that in any interaction, there is some power being implemented, but it doesn't feel like I'm bringing anything to bear (it may be tied in to my unwillingness to recognize effort that seems, well, effortless).

Kind of losing my point here; I'm off track.

Comments

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Ok, here's the point where we short people have to ask you to lower your head so we can kick it!

If 'power' is perpetually being used in all interchanges (or exchanges) then you don't really have to think about it, just acknowledge that it is. For the exercise, perhaps record in your mind various communications and then replay them later to look for various points. Remember that one person's possessing power in this sense doesn't make them The Powerful, it makes them one who communicates and with whom people communicate. Think of your favourite teacher/professor/person who taught you something - they're possessing much power in a particular context, but (usually) it isn't a blunt force thing. Gauge your own interchanges in that -- don't forget to also look in contexts where you're also on the empowering end (lest you get too assumptive that you're on some weird pedestal, which may seem odd, but may be awfully close to conclusions one could draw from this line of thought - "PEOPLE GIVE ME POWER! BEHOLD A-ALMIGHTY!").

[skiadaimonos.livejournal.com]

any examples of concrete cases/situations?

[adrienmundi]

Not so much, really, just an impression that I take away often; I am "safe" and "trustworthy" only insofar as I don't really do anything.

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

Hmmm ... I've got to ring in here that your comment is completely wrong. Like you don't do anything! You are safe and trustworthy because of what you do. People come to you and talk to you. 1. You talk back 2. You listen 3. You actively participate in the conversation 4. Where needed, you give sound advice (think that's easy, think again, it's *hard* to give good advice, much less so consistently that people are repeat questioners) 5. You give interesting and thoughtful insight.

That's *doing* all kinds of stuff and, while it may seem easy to you, it isn't. You're helping shape people's lives, damn it! That's so far from not doing anything that it makes my head spin! And, not only are you shaping people's lives, but you're doing it so successfully, that they're coming back and asking for more.

[adrienmundi]

I guess this falls back to the whole, "I can't take credit for something that's easy" thing. Too, I often/always feel like I have to be so very, very careful in advice giving (the metaphor that comes to mind is handling baby birds) so as not to move too quickly or forcefully; it doesn't feel like an excercise of power a lot of times, so much as a keeping power in check,if that makes sense.

Too, I guess I don't feel powerful because I'm not using power to make a comfortable space for myself (though I know that likely butts against a lot of other issues I'm struggling with at the same time).

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

I guess this falls back to the whole, "I can't take credit for something that's easy" thing.

I'm going to keep fighting you, on this one. Crafts and db admin are pretty easy for me, yet, you give me credit for doing them. And, I'm sure that you wouldn't want to be a hypocrit, would you?

it doesn't feel like an excercise of power a lot of times, so much as a keeping power in check,if that makes sense.

This makes me think of martial arts. There's power in a good punch or kick, but isn't there greater power in being able to control and efficiently use that punch or kick?